We're facebook friends in real life
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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