we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
