The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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