Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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