i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
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dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
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trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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