I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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