she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
