Kiss
Puke
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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