Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
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So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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