yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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