I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
