I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
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Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize