dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
