Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
