Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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