so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
