Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
