I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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