I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
