I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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