If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
