We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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