Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
