all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
