do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize