your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
