I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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