I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
