No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize