They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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