just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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