The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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