Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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