i just wanna soil my oats bro
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize