I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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