She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how can u be prego again
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
