he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
