I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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