I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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