Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna

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  (847): I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna http://tfl.nu/isgx
  Replies (7) Good night (1857) Bad night (2665)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to

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  (941): Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to http://tfl.nu/6uk1
  Replies (36) Good night (6507) Bad night (2300)
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  (510): View more from California

  Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.    

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  (510): Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.     http://tfl.nu/ot3m
  Replies (7) Good night (3847) Bad night (768)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah

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  (203): New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah http://tfl.nu/j6rb
  Replies (13) Good night (3355) Bad night (972)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world

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  (515): Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world http://tfl.nu/v7kq
  Replies (7) Good night (837) Bad night (3756)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me

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  (256): dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me http://tfl.nu/p9kn
  Replies (21) Good night (3758) Bad night (1274)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own

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  (519): his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own http://tfl.nu/8vl5
  Replies (11) Good night (1815) Bad night (3738)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.

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  (215): I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse. http://tfl.nu/a9fq
  Replies (6) Good night (1665) Bad night (898)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

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  (806): There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night. http://tfl.nu/26q0
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (1027)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar

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  (773): If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar http://tfl.nu/xi33
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (308)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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  (561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11
  Replies (6) Good night (476) Bad night (1238)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.

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  (412): I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them. http://tfl.nu/23p2
  Replies (0) Good night (574) Bad night (430)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was

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  (778): I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was http://tfl.nu/phyl
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (417)
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  (805): View more from California

  you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends

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  (805): you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends http://tfl.nu/d359
  Replies (5) Good night (395) Bad night (838)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.

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  (248): I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home. http://tfl.nu/9ut5
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (248)

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