The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?