It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Michael Bay diarrhea
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying