why didn't you poke me back
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
