just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
