i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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