shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Send help, water and tortillas.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
