I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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