ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
