yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
