I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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