So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
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On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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