I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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