I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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