And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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