We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
