If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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