I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize