I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize