OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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