Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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