In America we eat man semen.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
