I cockslap morals
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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