Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
3pm strippers are depressing
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him