Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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