Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.