sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?