How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.