i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
is wine microwaveable?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
