I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
