ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize