I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
