I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
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i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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