I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
