too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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